Friday, November 11, 2005

Guest Post from King Rebbe Godol Hador, shlita [a parody]

7th of Cheshvan, 5766

B.T.A.- I have chosen your site to do a guest blog on because there have been previous Rebbe's who made the mistake of failing to appoint successors. I will not make the same mistake as I go to the olam ha emes (or at least while I'm bucking for a promotion at work or watching The O.C. with the Rebbetzin).

But, I'm not appointing you my successor either, you wacked-out BT! Alas, my successor will be decided by a democratic process, my son- through votes in your comments.

You have learned well from your peers, aka, the 12 jbloggers. I will give them my brachos and leave six unnamed jbloggers for the commenters to suggest.

The First Six
Hirhurim- May you learn that he who refrains from deleting one post- it is as though he has saved the entire blogosphere. May it be your bracha that you bring life into learning for those who find it lifeless. Better have hatzolah on speed-dial just in case it doesn't work out.

DovBear- Do not be a taleBear-er among your bloggers. Make peace between Jbloggers and do not descend into political drivel. If you are dogmatically democrat or republican, you are surely wrong on a frequent basis. May it be your blessing that you unite and do not divide.

Serandez- Do not let the fact that your identity is known hide the real Jew (you).

FailedMessiah- While brevity may be the soul of wit, get a blog already and write more than 2 sentences, and stop kvetching about the Ethiopians!

Mis-nagid- Your keyboard is against every blog and every blog is against your keyboard. Your mark is the sardonic bombshell. Share your insights, which are many, by sharing your views constructively, rather than just taking potshots at the blogs of the "true believers." Put yourself on the line with suggestions and we will all benefit. And start a blog again, dangit!

RespondingtoJBlogs- Seek resolution above all else and help others along the way by sharing what you find.

That's the first 6. Any suggestions for some better brachos? I know they got kind of lame.

Btw- Ok, so I just added this site meter to my blog, and what better way to up my ratings than to fake a blog by Godol Hador? No one would believe Elvis blogged here, so this is the next best thing! ;)