Friday, November 11, 2005

Guest Post from King Rebbe Godol Hador, shlita [a parody]

7th of Cheshvan, 5766

B.T.A.- I have chosen your site to do a guest blog on because there have been previous Rebbe's who made the mistake of failing to appoint successors. I will not make the same mistake as I go to the olam ha emes (or at least while I'm bucking for a promotion at work or watching The O.C. with the Rebbetzin).

But, I'm not appointing you my successor either, you wacked-out BT! Alas, my successor will be decided by a democratic process, my son- through votes in your comments.

You have learned well from your peers, aka, the 12 jbloggers. I will give them my brachos and leave six unnamed jbloggers for the commenters to suggest.

The First Six
Hirhurim- May you learn that he who refrains from deleting one post- it is as though he has saved the entire blogosphere. May it be your bracha that you bring life into learning for those who find it lifeless. Better have hatzolah on speed-dial just in case it doesn't work out.

DovBear- Do not be a taleBear-er among your bloggers. Make peace between Jbloggers and do not descend into political drivel. If you are dogmatically democrat or republican, you are surely wrong on a frequent basis. May it be your blessing that you unite and do not divide.

Serandez- Do not let the fact that your identity is known hide the real Jew (you).

FailedMessiah- While brevity may be the soul of wit, get a blog already and write more than 2 sentences, and stop kvetching about the Ethiopians!

Mis-nagid- Your keyboard is against every blog and every blog is against your keyboard. Your mark is the sardonic bombshell. Share your insights, which are many, by sharing your views constructively, rather than just taking potshots at the blogs of the "true believers." Put yourself on the line with suggestions and we will all benefit. And start a blog again, dangit!

RespondingtoJBlogs- Seek resolution above all else and help others along the way by sharing what you find.

That's the first 6. Any suggestions for some better brachos? I know they got kind of lame.

Btw- Ok, so I just added this site meter to my blog, and what better way to up my ratings than to fake a blog by Godol Hador? No one would believe Elvis blogged here, so this is the next best thing! ;)


Blogger BTA said...

Let me just say I think RebelJew needs to be voted a tribesman, but we need a nice bracho for him.

11/11/2005 1:59 AM  
Blogger respondingtojblogs said...

Achron, achron chaviv.

11/11/2005 4:05 AM  
Blogger Hayim said...

gut shabbes

11/11/2005 9:32 AM  
Blogger Mis-nagid said...

Can we also vote a jblogger or two off the island? ;-)

11/11/2005 9:38 AM  
Blogger happywithhislot said...

ive been misunderstood.
youre brochos are what ive been trying to say.

11/11/2005 10:20 AM  
Blogger Ezzie said...

(sniff) (wipes away tear) I'll try, Rebbe... I'll try!!

11/11/2005 10:46 AM  
Anonymous Holy Hyrax said...

This is not the real GH. He specifically said on his site that he is no longer blogging or commenting and if there is someone going by that name than its a fake. Did he email this to you BTA or did you see this in a vision?

11/11/2005 10:53 AM  
Blogger BTA said...

OMG, hyrax- read the last paragraph again. Should I delete your comment? You have a reputation to uphold. ;)

11/11/2005 11:34 AM  
Blogger BTA said...

"Can we also vote a jblogger or two off the island? ;-) "


11/11/2005 11:35 AM  
Blogger BTA said...

Ezzie, my boy,- each year I want you to return to my domain name on
my yartzeit, the 7th of Cheshvan, and pray for my brachos in all your endeavors, particularly those which involve implementation of complex tax schemes that you receive from Ner Yisroel guys who only spent 5 minutes getting their CPA's .... Also, please consult me before any argument with your FIL.

11/11/2005 11:48 AM  
Blogger Ezzie said...

BTA - Oh man... I misread that last line. Haha!

Ner Yisroel guys?! I ignore NIRC guys - how can they be accountants if everything is black and white?! ;)

11/11/2005 12:00 PM  
Blogger Ezzie said...

Oh yeah - this should pump your ratings. Except it goes by links, not traffic - which is why I'm *just* ahead of DovBear, even though he gets triple the traffic. :D mouhahahahahaha...

11/11/2005 12:01 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

"which is why I'm *just* ahead of DovBear, even though he gets triple the traffic. :D mouhahahahahaha..."

[Think Al Pacino in the Devil's Advocate]: "you think that was your talent winning you all those hits... it was ME, your Rebbe, giving you brachos, one for each web hit..."

11/11/2005 12:18 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

C'mon guys- let's here some more brachos for the other 6 tribes!

11/11/2005 12:22 PM  
Anonymous Holy Hyrax said...

Oh man, am I embarresed. Well, I didn't read the whole post , I just quickly commented after I saw your comment on DB. So there!!

11/11/2005 12:59 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

You must read the words of the Rebbe. Turn them over and over...everything is within.

Speaking of shteigin up Godol's blog- does anyone have any info on whether he'' be doling out his blog on cd, etc?

11/11/2005 1:11 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

"DovBear, even though he gets triple the traffic. "

DB gets tons of traffic because he does politics. The market is of course huge for that, so all you need is 1/1000 of 1% of that market hitting your site and you'll blow away any pure j-blog.

But who really cares about his politics? He sounds like a democratic flak, like Al Franken.

If you're gonna talk politics, talk some radical stuff or leave it to the journalism school grads and NYTimes editorials.

His jblog stuff is excellent, though.

11/11/2005 1:16 PM  
Blogger Ezzie said...

Hey, I do politics. I just make more sense, so it doesn't attract as much controversy. :)

11/12/2005 7:44 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

Well, that would explain why you're neck and neck with him on some kind of hits. Gut vach.

11/12/2005 9:59 PM  
Blogger The Jewropean said...

I'm voting for Ezzie. After all the Rebbe was conservative too. And he also had a secular education.

11/12/2005 10:11 PM  
Anonymous JBlogReader said...

the other six were the following: renreb, rachack, shtreimel, on the main line, mar gavriel, and Torah Jew.

11/13/2005 2:14 AM  
Blogger Toby Katz said...

Just wanted to thank you BTA for your excellent defense of my position (re the Holocaust) on DovBear's blog. I don't read his blog anymore but someone sent it to me because DB ---getting bored I guess -- chose to bait me once again.

The problem of theodicy is an ancient one. The Holocaust seems to magnify it, by the sheer magnitude of the horror, but essentially the same problem has been around forever. Terrible suffering in the world.

I understand why this is your stumbling block, the thing that keeps you from faith. It is the sticking point for a certain kind of sensitive person who can't bear to see pain or injustice in the world. But you do realize that it is not a new problem -- see Koheles, see Iyov.

The answers involve an assumption that we don't know and can't understand G-d's mind, also, that this is not the only world. Because if this IS the only world then clearly G-d is unjust.

My own feeling about this is "ta'amu u're'u" -- taste it and see -- the Torah life as lived is an enormously gratifying and satisfying life. If there remain doubts and questions, nu, so there are questions. There were people who lived through the horrors and came out with their faith intact. Suffering does not compel disbelief, obviously.

G-d gave me personally so much -- a husband, a home, children, friends -- that I don't feel able to reject Him, even though I do sometimes wonder WHY, G-D, WHY?

Some witty atheist once said that he found the hardest thing about being an atheist was -- there is no one to thank!

11/13/2005 9:32 AM  
Blogger BTA said...

Toby- I'm glad you read that post. I don't think you should read DB anymore either, unless he comes around. It's very hurtful to hear people write so venomously.

Thanks for trying to address the Holocaust as my stumbling block. Actually, I have quite a nice variety of stumbling blocks to choose from. ;) For instance, the Holocaust is really only a stumbling block for me a little before, during and a little after the 3 weeks. I feel like the Holocaust coming after all that stuff was ordained makes the Rabbis seem so short sighted. I know you could say the opposite, but I think it's a stretch. To me, it's hard to believe in a god and a religion that leads to these consequences. On the other hand, I too am very thankful for my family, marriage and the sacrifices of past generations that gave us a sense of community and purpose as Jews.

I'm just trying to find a happy medium that incorporates what I respect about orthodoxy, but that jettisons dogmas that I see no merit in, since none of it is divinely ordained in my opinion. So, for now, I keep kosher and shabbos and live in a pretty frum community because these are things that I actually consider a luxury.

As for my other stumbling blocks, you've heard them all before. I just wanted to illustrate that the Holocaust is just one.

Also, I put another post on DovBear's site to emphasize harmony between Jews. I think your class in handling his various posts of the months and those of disgruntled Jews inspired me in that regard.

11/13/2005 1:28 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

Toby- so you don't ahve to go to DB's site to read it, here is my post about you:

DovBear- You have to get over your Toby Katz thing. You are so ad hominem, it's really outrageous. I've looked at her posts and they are hashgafic more than anything else. I don't share all of her views, but she clearly is nothing like what you paint her to be. Plus, unlike almost all Rabbis, she engages in dialogue with you on your own blog, despite your hypercritical approach.

If you don't like her hashgafa, there are 69 other faces to the torah, and an infinite number of faces that have nothing to do with the Torah.

The only thing I could reasonably find to be ad hominem about Toby is that she posts on a site that openly censors all kinds of viewpoints yet calls itself "cross-currents". I'd like to see her influence them to accept other posts or at least comments! I've had several bumped because I "challenge the mesorah." Well, the gedolim say Slifkin impermissably challenged the "mesora" and they probably have a thing or two to say about Rabbi Adlerstein for disagreeing with their "daas torah."

Yet, Toby actually engages in dialogue with people of different streams, unlike Rabbi Adlerstein and Yaackov Mencken, etc (I'm only talking in public, of course they talk to all kinds of folks in private).

Toby should be commended for keeping debate open even in the face of scathing and self righteously indignant posts by you.

Be a little bigger and engage her thoughts thoughtfully. THere is no need for polemics in true cross-cultural dialogues.

And, I don't see you taking on Rabbi Adlerstein or Gil who have some pretty wacky views (perhaps you do, I just haven't seen it). Still, I don't advocate ad hominem against any Jew, although it's hard for me to hold back on my blog as well. Still, I'd never blast someone who actually engages in dialogue, that just makes no sense unless you're a Stalinist.

Perhaps we skeptical bloggers should incorporate this into our code of ethics. It seems more important to foster harmony within our communities as a whole than what hecksher one holds by or what shul one davens at. And perhaps we'd grow some more from ourselves as well.
B.T.A. | Homepage | 11.13.05 - 1:17 pm | #

11/13/2005 1:28 PM  
Blogger Toby Katz said...

Thank you for your kind comments. Unfortunately I did go to DB's site -- curiosity -- but don't plan to make that a habit.

11/13/2005 7:13 PM  
Blogger Rebeljew said...

Heshy - The hands are the hands of Yaakov, but the voice is the voice of Eisav

LkwdGuy - On your blog you shall live and your vaad you shall serve.

11/13/2005 11:07 PM  
Blogger Hayim said...

just to let you know... temptation was finally too strong, I started my own place :)

11/14/2005 11:28 AM  
Blogger BTA said...

And it is...?

11/14/2005 1:10 PM  
Blogger Anonymousette said...

Hey its me again, the anonymousette BT. Please visit my blog, which I just started, for some good discussion.

11/14/2005 5:27 PM  
Blogger Hayim said...

here :

11/15/2005 3:15 AM  
Anonymous Holy Hyrax said...


Its me. Please visit my new blog. Its narly

Oh wait... nevermind.

11/15/2005 7:49 PM  
Blogger BTA said...

LoL- why not guest post again. I'm too lazy and busy to put up my magnum opus I've been working on.

I may just stick up a small version of my slam of cross-currents and mencken.... soon SOON mooohahahahahaha, mooohahahaha!

11/16/2005 4:42 AM  

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